Either Chain Me up or Let Me Go Either Way I’m Leaving (Short Story Series I)

~Chapter 1~

I woke with the worst hangover ever. I let Silvia talk me into going to a local club. She assumed I never got out of my apartment unless it was to work or workout. There was some truth to that but what could I do? I didn’t have anyone to help me with bills like she did so I had to work more than anything else.

I was just getting out the small cubed shower with broken tiles and a leaky pipe when my phone rang. It was my job. Likely, my team lead wanted me to work a double. Nancy must have called off again .

“Hello.” I said somewhat impatiently.

“Hi Lavinia this is Terry how are you?”

Terry was my boss and she was a bitch by nature.

“I’m great just getting ready to start my day so I can be to work on time, what’s up? You guys need me to work a double again?”

“Actually I was calling to tell you that due to the circumstances we are unable to keep you employed, business has been slow. I hope you understand.”

I felt like my world was going to shatter again in less than six months. I spoke but I couldn’t keep my voice from quivering.


“Listen, Lavinia you are…”

She was still talking, I hung up the phone. I had enough money saved to last me a few months if I budgeted my money right. That wouldn’t be too hard if I refrained from you know, all the basic pleasures in this life. Like meat with no steroids, cage free eggs, buying products that was not tested on animals. Yea basic stuff. I poured a glass of boxed wine from the pantry and yes, I started to drink at seven o’ clock in the morning. I played Mary J. Blige ‘Just Fine.’ By nine o’ clock I was wasted again and gracefully slipped into oblivion.


Waking up and not completely sober at one in the afternoon, I had Just enough wits to at least function properly. I glanced around my one room apartment and thought I’m doing OK, given the fucked up circumstances that I found myself in the last year or so. At least I had this. This twin size bed that creaks and cranks when I move, against an old fashioned linen colored plastered wall. Across I have a wonderful view of the bricks to the other units. My kitchen separated only by a barring wall was quite nice. I had a pantry that fit just enough noodles to hold me over until payday. A half-fridge dinged on the front doors. It was literally my size. And I get “my size” could be anything. “My size” is what the absent brain calls “Fun Size”. The color at least was attractive enough, green. The kitchen reminds me of Rachel Ray’s set from her show what was it called again?

Yea so here I was twenty now and soon to be twenty-one. A handle on reality would be good right about now. I just get irritated from the heat so august felt it would never come, tired from the heat and just want to advance this year and start all the way over.

“If Aliens exist here me now! I am a willing participant.” No answer there but, someone was buzzing at the door and I already knew it was probably Silvia. I went over to the intercom to buzz her in.

“Hey bestie you had fun last night right! And by the way you look like shit.”

That’s Silvia. No fucks given. And always in a chipper mood. We were complete opposites in all aspects. She white American, long sun tanned hair, exceptionally tall and of course yes she was gorgeous. I on the other hand a black American, ugly black hair that is thick as a noose, big boobs and eyes. Well that’s how the media describes me anyway. It’s pretty long considering most people assume we usually wear weave and our hair doesn’t grow. Well…we think that part about each other. I think with my Carmel skin I could pass for a Latina at least when my hair is pressed out. Why is that important? Well you’d have to be black in America.

Anyway, back to Silvia, her parents were international lawyers so they were handling cases all over and stayed out of town most of the time. We were best friends since we were in elementary.

“Leave it to beaver to point out the obvious. And I do feel like shit.” I couldn’t keep the irritation out my voice and a pillow from launching out my hand to her face.

She rearranged her hair from the hit and rolled her eyes.

“Did you just wake up I thought you had work today but when I went in there Nancy said you were not in, so I came here. I hope you didn’t call off because of me.”

“Actually the bitch Terry fired me so yes I’m out of a J-O-B and S.O.L so life is sucking pretty much right now.”

She came over and gave me a hug and of course I wailed. Because crying wouldn’t do it.

“You know if you need anything I’m here.”

If there is another thing about her I can brag on, she’s always empathetic to all people, and that made me love her even more. I didn’t want to point out that she was getting ready to move to California and switch colleges to UCLA. So I simply nodded.

“I’m glad you came over and I’m never drinking again my head feels like it’s about to explode and I have the shits.”

This is me snapping back, being strong because either you are the lion or the gazelle. The sun or the tree.

“Well get up take a shower and get dressed we are going on a shopping spree my treat and then we are going to go goggle eye the men at the gym what do you say?”

“Oh Silvia you know my weakness for the gym.”

And together we said, “and grey sweatpants!”


If you enjoyed chapter one make sure you keep an eye out for the consecutive chapters that will be uploaded. Check out and follow me on Instagram


Zahara J

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